This will change everything

Praise be to God! For he has delivered unto us his only begotten house pet and our reptilian savior. Some of the more observant Forest Heights contributors will probably be quick to point out that in England reptile births outside of marriage are an offense that can result in a public stoning, and the zoo keepers, knowing this, are doing a tremendous service to its mother by claiming it was a virgin birth.

Just think how different the world would be if we believed that God’s image resembled a komodo dragon. It’s flattering, of course, to think that the creator of the cosmos looks like us. In fact, the notion is so flattering that the temptation to believe it is profound. Which is probably why it's such a popular belief.

On Danzig, on Blitzkrieg, on Dahmer, on Nixon. The rules for Christmas should change from this. From this point on it’s no longer business as usual on planet Earth.

Merry Parthenogenesis-mas! Or something…