Friday, April 4

Highlights: GQ piece on James Brown


A long look back on the Godfather's life in the new issue of GQ, here.
One night in the summer of 2001, after he’d slathered her in Vaseline (“He liked you all greased up,” she says. “Like a porkchop”) and wore her out trying to come, he gave up and left the room, and Gloria dozed off. When she woke up, Mr. Brown was standing at the foot of the bed in a full-length mink coat over his bare chest, a black cowboy hat, and silk pajama pants with one leg tucked into a cowboy boot and the other hanging out. He had a shotgun over his shoulder and a white stripe of Noxzema under each eye. “I’m an Indian tonight, baby,” he announced. “C’mon, let’s let ’em have it.” Then he dumped a pickle jar of change on the floor, told her to get a machete, and went out to the garage. He took the Rolls, drove ten miles to Augusta, weaving all over the road, clipping mailboxes, smoking more dope, and screaming about being an Indian. Gloria kept thinking she should flag down a cop, say she’d been kidnapped.
Vaseline-grease job? Relatively freaky--yet for goodness sakes he wasn't cuttin' them tasty cakes until he was 60?
Hell, the man was in his sixties before he discovered doggy style on the Playboy Channel. He called up Roosevelt Johnson at three in the morning to tell him about it. “You sittin’ down, Mr. Johnson?” he asked, which is what he always said when he had an astonishing new fact to report. “Black man don’t know nothing. Black man don’t know a damned thing. A white man, he get up in his woman from behind.” Johnson pretended to be surprised by that.

4 Comments:

Blogger Dracula Casanova said...

I think that this wraps up my theory...
James Brown is a immortal time traveler from the future. Really nothing else explains that kind of audacity.

Note: James Brown has also fought in Breastuary at Nippopolis...and he obviously won.

1:53 AM  
Blogger ryanerik said...

shotguns and jars of change?
I can't wait for the future.

12:38 AM  
Blogger Jared Thiele said...

That's on some Fear & Loathing

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find it hard to believe that the man who wrote "Sex Machine" didn't know about hittin' it from the back until he was 60 yrs old. You know? "i'm a sex machine, and I'll hit that tang missionary all fucking night!"

5:30 AM  

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