Live Journal

Read this...read the entire thing

unreal

What Am I Doing?

Look Guys. I have a problem with drinking, and women.
I can't keep myself from taking advantage of my friends wife(s).
I guess I have burned all my bridges, and perhaps I should consider moving out of the state.
What a Load of Crap.
I'm sorry that some of you got emails from Derek & Lindsay. those two don't have much good to say about me at the moment. I guess they have decided to shift the responcability for their failing marrige from them, to me.
Sure, I kissed her, but it was a very mutual thing that happened between two drunk people. It didn't last long before we both stopped, and realized that we shouldn't have done that. Lindsay asked me never to tell anyone, so I never did. Months later, the two of them team up on me to make it seem like I raped this woman. this is very hard, and hurtful to me.
luckly, many of my friends that got the email replied in my behalf before I even knew that email had been sent out. I'm just glad to know that I have friends that know me well enough, and will stand up for me.

Lots of Sushi

Dolphin? Squid?

I was about to go to sleep last night, but I was kept up listeing to my favorite radio station.

I wrote out a real nice quiz a few minutes ago but then I attempted to "ABC" my post and poof vamos it was gone. So no quiz although with midterms coming up I was really into it. It was 5 true or false questions about crazy shit that is going on in mostly the waters of our world right now. The wrong answers were

-Pirates from Cuba take over New Orleans Projects
-University Freshman with webbed feet tries out for swimming team

I thought those were maybe more believable than what is actually true. I will let the links speak for themselves. As usual the Gaurdian is all over this news. I check the Gaurdian every day, I mean while the New York Times writes amazing articles on "Stop Snitchin" shirts the Gaurdian is making jokes about dolphins that the US lost. Someone call Samuel Jackson.

So much Sushi off the coast of Japan
Batteries not included
"Echo the Dolphin Lashes Back"

Chat with Brian

This is so radicular! Donate $100 to hurricane relief efforts and Brian Wilson will call you and chat for a bit. Bet you could split it up too... $33 or $50 well worth it.

AAAAAHAHAHAH SUCK IT DELAY SUUUUUCK IT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DeLay Is Indicted and Forced to Step Down as Majority Leader

3:14 PM ET
Representative Tom DeLay was accused by a Texas grand jury of criminal conspiracy in a campaign fund-raising scheme.

Get on the grind..like clockwork

Dip Dip..who wanna fuck with the set?

I am posting this just because its easier this way.

Juelz Santana-Clockwork

MJ good luck with that job. Go real hard for that one..real hard..real hard. Real focused


Sorry I gotta add this link..its real serious. I spent the last 45 minutes laughing at these pictures. Coming soon to Jonestowns wallpaper.

Let's give Josh a thousand boners.

The dude loves Keytars.

Oh... Oh Rita.

Katrina and Rita... two foxy bitches!

You can tell by this picture the true rock hard strength of a class 5 hurricane. Just look at the trail it left from its passage through the Florida Keys. They say Rita is going to be the biggest hurricane to ever hit the US mainland.



By comparison take a look at this illustration of the storm pattern of hurricane Andrew, which hit the gulf coast in 1992. It clearly shows that not all class 5 hurricanes blow as hard as others, although both have the ability to cause massive flooding down south.

Why is there so little public discussion on the increasing frequency of extreme weather? I hope I'm not alone in thinking that all of this indicates big things to come.


The American Meteorological Society has recently forecasted a storm that will be so massive it will destroy everything in its path with awesome precision. It's the doomsday scenario… below is a rendering of what they think it might look like.

Party Tonight!

I just realized that I haven't had much Gary's Gang lately. I miss those days when we could just put on a record, and there would instantly be a party surrounding us. Does anyone still have that record?
Hey!Hey!Hey!Hey, PartyyyyyToonighhhht!

proof god hates the south

Rita, level 5. Destroyer of steers and queers.

Who doesn't want to hear the new strokes single?

I gotta admit, I liked that ep that the strokes put out before their first record.
The last one wasn't very good, although a few songs were really good.

But nothing really tops that first ep.

Especially not this song, but maybe I gotta listen to it with headphones on.

I'm sure some of ya'll wanna peep this shit. I was excited to hear it

Juicebox

And seriously nothing tops hearing MJ talk about hats and the web pages that they are on in a critical manner, oh wait maybe learning about J-Rod and his crush he has on hats with a straight brim.

Check out this David Banner story. I was talking about this last night, its unreal.

hosing down the moog

jared's heartfelt venting struck a chord in the music box that is my soul.
i don't mean to say i've been involved in anything so morally deplorable as frequenting strip clubs, no, (jesus is the only stripper this 'player' needs) but i've certainly been experiencing feelings of distance and underlying fear of becoming what i pretend to be.
so today i broke open my soul and fixed that damned chord.

In the last week...

Between Dunn Bros. & the Electric Fetus, I have been working an average of 13 hours a day for the last two weeks. That leaves me with very little time to actually get things done. as a result, my bedroom is a mess, I'm out of clean clothes to wear, the dishes are piling up, the house looks like shit, and I haven't spent much time just hanging out with people I like to see.
I have been distant, and it's begining to bother me a little.
One thing that does bother me is going out to the strip clubs.
at first it was funny. we would show up at the Skyway Lounge, and I could find the humor in watching these nasty legs work the runway for $1 tips from toothless truck driver types. then one night we decided to get passes to Rick's, you know, class up our game a little, and see what the other side of the stripper scene was like. I think we all agreed that Rick's is leaps and bounds above Skyway in terms of cleanliness, quality of girls, and perhaps class. I thought it was funny when Justin and Derek thought they could start a business as scouts for strip clubs. I even went to amatuer night at Rick's to cheer on some skyway stripper I had never met or seen before. all that was fun too, but when I realized that I had gone to a strip club every weekend for two months, that's when I had to stop and question what it is that I'm doing with my time.
before two months ago, I had been to only two strip clubs in my life, and I can't say I really enjoyed it much. now I'm begining to feel like a seasoned veteran, and that kinda bugs me.
also, I don't think any of us should get involved with strippers, because they're dumb fucking crazy. first she'll start showing up at your house at weird hours of the day & night, unannounced, throwing water bottles at people, telling you stories about how she dropped out of school at 16, got married, worked at every strip club in the city, got divorced, and how she'll threaten to call the cops on your drug dealing friend if you don't let her stay with you. yup. it happened to somebody.
on top of that, Matt call your lawyer again, because you need to press assult charges on Blue 101. waiters, and GM's shouldn't be throwing punches at customers, no matter what you were doing.

NOLA Bounce

Let me introduce myself, since I only know a handfull of ya'll. My name is Justin.

I am linking two things that are really important in my life right now together, Katrina and Rap. It is important that we seriously recognize or rep New Orleans. I know there has been lots of discussion as of late regarding the NOLA and it seems even more buzz surrounding the hustle and flow styles of Juvie the great. I have spent the better part of my morning getting this post together to download. I wanted to make the first one count.

This mix consists of a genre of rap known as "Bounce," New Orleans Bounce music is pretty interesting, it pretty much tells a person how to dance. There are plenty of songs on this mix that exhibit this. How can you not ignore "act a donkey on the dancefloor?"

I could get more and more into an explaination of what exactly bounce is, but its best if you listen to this mix, then ya'll understand. Ya Heard?

1. DJ Jimi - Where They At? (Soulin, 1990)
2. Lil' Elt & DJ Tee - Get The Gat Gemix (Parkway Pumpin', 1993)
3. UNLV - Another Bitch (Cash Money, 1993)
4. Silky Slim - Sister Sister (Profile, 1992)
5. Juvenile - Powder Bag (Warlock, 1994)
6. Cool D - Bitch Watcha Gonna Do? (Mr. Tee, 1994)
7. Lil Goldie - Act A Donkey On A... (Mobo, 1997)
8. DJ Jimi f/ Juvenile - Bounce (For The Juvenile) (Soulin', 1992)
9. Cheeky Blakk - Lemme Get That Outcha (Tombstone, 1995)
10. Everlasting Hitmen - Bounce Baby Bounce (Mr. Tee, 1992)
11. Sporty T - Sporty Talkin' Sporty (Big Boy, 1993)
12. 2 Blakk - Second Line Jump
13. Magnolia Shorty - Monkey On The Dick (Cash Money, 1995)
14. Partners N Crime - We Don't Love Them Hoes(Big Boy, 1994)
15. MC TT Tucker & DJ Irv - Where Dey At? (Sioul, 1990)
16. Bust Down - Nasty Bitch (Effect, 1991)

Joke or Serious

only you can decide...

forever awesome...

I was just looking to add some great pictures from Google, and I ran across some very interesting sites. It appears that there are mariachi-aztec-space warriors from the future sent here for unknown reasons. But at least these intergalactic ethnically confused marauders are only fighting with silver spray painted super soakers from 1991 (although no word yet on what the reservoirs are filled with). Honestly...what the fuck, and where do I order.

(b)ass masters

I thought this letter Bill Maher wrote to Bush would go well with this picture from Bush's vacation:

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no
more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war
because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of
your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.
Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No
one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and
walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and
the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next
fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying:
there's so many other things that you as President could involve
yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to
do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts.
Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to
Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you
govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that
you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks
like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never
conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four
airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of
New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't
love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be
if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'

zzaaa

no 'puter, kyle? oowwie.

ratatat - 'seventeen years'

menomena! - 'cough, coughing'

mf doom live

I just wanna say right now that this is not my fault

Brookz goes crraazeeeee

So David Brooks is one of the only conservative columnists that I can stand to read, but he writes some great shit. Apparently after huffing a lot of gas, he decided to write this column about the Roberts hearings:

Cue the Sun

And my fucking computer died again, so I have no music to post. Hum to yourself bitches.

fresh meat, fresh heat.

Welcome to the stage, ladies, Leonard Albert Lampert IV b.k.a. DJ Dance Music.

Hi, Ned.

New Ghostface 12" out soon, with Pete Rock on the beat.

Burton Inc.: "L.A. Will Make you Pay $$$" Rare 70's shat.

Errone have a good tweakend and twerk it slow. See you on Tuesday. Make it pop!

New Bloodhound Gang cover...

I am posting this picture in addition to a few comments I made under Jared's last post (poker her, then Pinch her), which for some reason was under Matt’s name... Jared is an identity thief.

Is there no way to post pictures under the comments section?

Humans call it quits. [holy fucking shit.]

Real working mech. Shoots rubber balls...

for now.

There's video of it in terrifying action.

God bless you goddamn monkeys

So after that mention of gambling, roll the dice on this shit....

I am writing a review article on pathological gambling disorder right now, and I've had to review all the literature on the neurophysiological basis of risk and reward. Almost all of these studies are done in animals, because even though you don't find many monkeys tossin' duckets at Mystic Lake (they prefer Treasure Island), the biological basis for addictions of all kind predates human evolution. That is to say: you can get a rat hooked on crack because the same mechanisms that got me hooked on the pipe are present in said rat.
Anyway, gambling represents a problem for the "addiction" scientific community because it doesn't involve the addition of a drug that works on neurotransmitter systems, yet it displays all of the hallmarks of chemical addiction. Even more problematic, it appears the neurotransmitters involving the reward/reinforcement of engaging in gambling behavior are pretty much identical to the reinforcement mechanisms involved in drug addiction. So, a major question is how the reinforcing stimuli in gambling behavior can "equal" the reinforcing stimuli in drug addiction, without the addition of drugs which specifically alter the neurotransmitters involved in reward.
Enter the monkey. He's been trained to engage in a task, and the sadistic researchers randomly give him a reward (fruit juice) every so often after he completes that task, all the while recording the neurotransmitter output from certain dopamine neurons in his brain (it involves lots of straws. not really). Anyway, they change the frequency of reward after completing the task in each different set of trials, so that in some sets monkey gets the reward 0% of the time, 100%, 25%, 50%, and so on. They also chage the magnitude of the reward from small to medium, medium to large, and small to large. What do they find? Single dopamine neurons have the discriminatory ability to measure the frequency and magnitude of reward, and even better, they highest amount of activation comes from a reward that comes only 50% of the time and varies from small to high in magnitude. Which is to say that monkeys, and people, get the biggest kick from the HIGHEST amount of uncertainty when engaging in a task that involves reward. When the give the monkey the reward 100% of the time, the dopamine neurons don't even fire, and when they only give them the medium to high reward possibility, they don't fire as much as with the small to large possibility.
Vegas has already figured all of this out, by the way; just think of the way a slot machine is designed. Varialbe reward from nothing to $$$$$, and they are usually set to pay out "something" just under 50% of the time. Savor all this as it fries your circuits.
Oh, and that graph comes from this study, but I just included it cause anything that has licking duration and reward probability in it gets my attention.

Poke her, then Pinch her

Jared Wrote this. Not Matt.
my second win of a game of poker with the boys. It was me, Matt, Mark, John D. & Miles playing. Derek was hanging out with a stripper, just livin' the high life. just to state the facts. Kyle was M.I.A.
mark, miles, and john went out EARRRLY in the game, and left me 7 matt to play heads up for another 30 minutes.
it is starting to get chilli at night, and I like that. Fall is coming.
The Twins are out.
I'm not in school this semester.
Oh...September 27th is the Rotten Ron CD release, there is a RhymeSayers Essential Elements Show at the Dinkytowner to promote the release.
September 28th I set up a Entry show for Foundation Agecy (Deign), Mammal (deign), Pushovers, and headlining is Yoni. It should be a good show. i wanted Big Quarters to Headline the 28th, but Joel & someone else didn't want to work with them right now (beef?), I don't know why. Big Quarters was on the cover of CITYPAGES just two weeks ago, so why not get um if we can right?
Dom & Ted B. are already talking up their next "group" idea for an album. they want to call themselves The Dingle Berries, and the cover of the album would have a womans naked ass, with refried beans running down her crack. My feelings are... I think it sucks. a shitty name. a shitty album cover. it reminds me of stuff I may have thought about when I was 14 years old, and now I'm a bit older, and I realized I don't like the jerky boys, and I don't like Bevis & Butthead, and I don't want to try to sell a Deign record by a group called the Dingle Berries.
I didn't want to get into a record label so I could try selling every retarded idea our stoned minds could conjure up.
If I get voted down on this one, I will go all out, and make sure it sells more than any other Deign Record we make in the next year.
what do you guys think?

that is SO true Mr. Bear

And I was just about to do it! But I saw this bear....and, guys, it really made me think.

All kits are sent promptly in a plain box

not just any adult products - these are personalized gifts.

Platinumized Thighs.

Rightfully pissed.
A little bit of errthang.
ATLiens meets Rhymes like Dimes.
The Outcasts: Loving you Sometimes
Brenda Russell: A Little Bit of Love
Homeboy & The C.O.L: Make it on my Own.

is that oscar buzz I smell?

"Michael Bay's Wet Dream"

what ahh.....what to say here ah? besides AWESOME!

ELECTRIC WEENUS

So... for all of you that didn't already hear about this from me, or somebody else, I, Jared M. Thiele, took a job at the Electric Fetus.
Now it's not exactly what I wanted to do. I was kinda hoping I could get some kind of boring, music related, desk job. the kind where I'm on the phone all the time, grabbin' mad promos, health insurance, and paid vacation. But, for the time being, I guess I'm too exciting a person for that. Yes, I belong at the Fetus.
I actually love it there, to tell you the truth.
all my co-workers are into something a little different. Jason is the 60's rock guy, Karissa is the Electronic/dance girl, Ol' boy is the Jazz man, and I, Believe it or not, have been labled the Rap/hip hop guy. right from my first day working, my co-worker amber (hottie) says to me, "It's good to have someone here that knows about hip-hop." Yeah.
I never thought of myself as a hip-hop guy, but as time moves forward, I do feel a bit more conected with the local scene. Deign Records is coming out with some new releases, I keep meeting other dudes from around town that want to play shows with some of the Deign artist. But what I need to do more is, Fucking, surf more sights like sandbox, and soulstrut to keep up with what is coming out, and read what other people think about it. maybe I'll get a subscription to Source, Get myslef a front Grill, and Floss some G-Unit gear.
Last night at the Fetus I played the whole Hustle & Flow soundtrack for the store, and not one person complaned about it. That's almost scary.
I discovered that I hate helping people find wolrd music, or reagge titles. the majority of the time it'll be some F.O.B. from africa that remembers his favorite music from back home, and he expects me to find it for him. I listen to what he is saying, but this mans voice is so deep, and his words are so jumbled, that it sounds like I'm eves dropping on a coversation from the other side of a wall. from now on I'm just going to have them write it down, because it's fast, and more respectful to them if we do it that way.
Nuts.

Koumeitou

Hey John, good to hear from you. John is Kyle's ex-lifepartner and Seattle resident; not to be confused with Jason's (ex-lifepartner) Jon 'living-in-exile' Sassy, who may have been invited into this mess as well. He is a real dude and can hotwire golf-carts and stuff.

So, Japanese people excerised the gift of democracy we bestowed upon them, and two days ago repicked Junichiro Koizumi to be king of Japan. I'm not sure why they didn't pick this babe, especially with her cool-dudette style;

Goofy!

edit: Oh, I guess I should post a song since I've had nothing but puppy-puns to offer lately...So...

Percee P: Let the Homicides Begin
[From the rare 1988 rap 12" BQ In Full Effect.]

big melon full of poo

dr. stovepipe, aka kaw, invited me to knob out with y'all. so I figured I'd throw down a couple things and try to upload a song...

(-) if, by chance, in the intelligent designer's wonderful plan, a turd could beget another turd with a stupid little mouth and a paper clip for a brain - that shit of a shit would undoubtedly be the white house press secretary scott "i'm too stupid or I'd cry myself asleep at night" macclellan. dr. kyle, can you clear this up? are they taking advantage of someone with a really obscure brain injury or some sort of mental handicap? this is kind of stale, but here's the 'blame game' press briefing where a couple reporters get loose and lay into him. the video is the real prize - scroll in a third or so. (+) The Double just put out a record on matador that i haven't heard yet, but their last one was butter hot... 'soul cougar'

hard times for the pawlice

It's fucked up that the budget cuts in Minneapolis have hit the police departments so badly, in response they've had to make a few minor adjustments...

Hoonter Thoompson

Via BoingBoing.net:

Rolling Stone is publishing what seems to be Hunter S. Thompson's last written words, penned in marker four days before he ended his life. From the note, titled "Football Season Is Over":

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun -- for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax -- This won't hurt."

yttiKitty

Read this nutsy story about a kitten with two face. Had anyone heard of Teacup-kittens?!

The truth is out!

Upon bowsing through old photos of my life at sea with Scott and Derek, I came across a curiosity. I never knew Derek hated me all this time, but this photo proves it!

Agenda credenza

Wowsie Powsie, chicken by george!
I'm glad dudes are signed up for this crazy scheme.
Keith, please to post the funniez. That mangina, Mark Swanson, is yet to set sail as well.
Nothing interesting from me, just requests...







Derek & Jared: please post or email to me any good music you've been involved in recently for consideration on next Bigcocku Onrocku compilation.

Kyle: Tell me something mind-shattering about viruses. And, uh, did that kid who got mauled by both a lion and a tiger end up living? Josh and I were wondering.

Josh: You ought to post the link to your page so fools can DL those disco mixes (although 5 of the 6 links don't work right now.)

Matt: If Charles Barkley made puppies with a pitbull, what would their names be? (Snarles Barksley is taken.) Also, feel free to bestow a title upon the above aquatic canine. (Fins McCutie is taken.)

Chris: How are the outfits coming for Helsinki Sound Machine? We gotta look good at the talent show!

Hot babes: Hey, what's up? You like funtimes at parties?

Jason: Hoping to maybe grab that longboard that's at your house, and lets try an allnight skate once Landquest's comes in the mail. Hit that Ichigaya hill down to the palace!

Keith: Could I maybe pick up that blue racer from Miyako so Josh and I can bike around the city together?

//rew.

Katrina Madness

Wholly calamity, scream insanity!

Somehow a lot of journalists are now finding their balls... Keith Olbermann, Tim Russert, and even that douche bag Joe Scarborough are now all apparently working toward a similar end: exposing the ineptitude of our government to protect it's citizens against predictable threats.

Olbermann compiled a video timeline of political rhetoric versus the reality in New Orleans and it is pretty interesting to see. Here it is. And here it is again in .mov.

A Thound of Sunder.!.

Seriously, this the best movie ever made in not called "A Sound of Thunder"; it was rather the worst movie I've seen since Santa with Muscles. Time machines and dinosaurs sounds really good, like something that I would love to see; so Derek, Justin, and I went to it. This shit must have been on the shelf for ten years for real. My mind couldn't comprehend what I was taking in what with "evolution waves" and fucking blue screened everything. I don't know who had to have been seconds away from a gruesome suicide when they signed their name, allowing money to be allocated to the making of this horrid rape of celluloid. Seriously I hate some people now.

By the way it'z nice to be a bloggoonist.

http://movies.aol.com/movie/main.adp?mid=16228#

Overture

HEY TURDS! J$ and his ladyfriend Aya have done the third issue of a German illustration zine known as USEpapers. Out soon. Way to go, looks great.

chatter puppet makes good

This guy is usually a cornball, but he's surprisingly on point here--repping a line that is about as dissentful as can be heard on cable news networks.

Keith Olberman on MSNBC

Oh yeah, and Kanye West; "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Totally awes-larious.

M.G. Crebs & the Lagoon Isle Crew

My Word is Bond-
My Boy Bobby Denver is gone-
We can call the Prof, and sip Ginger all night long-

I'm rep'n Crebs 4 Life

I am getting back into the rap game.

The rumors are true... Night Vision and Kevin Kash are back at it. Rapping is sooo easy, especially now that you aren't required to rhyme. Or rhyming the same two words is completely acceptable. Perhaps the Beastie Boys redundant use of the word ‘commercial’ started the trend, now everyone is doing it. What at first appeared to many as an embarrassing folly can now retroactively be labeled as innovation. Recently Mike Jones has proven that a speech impediment actually impedes nothing when it comes to rap. In fact the more you sound like you have down syndrome the better. There is no reason why all of us don't have rap albums out.

Kevin Kash will be playing a show in late September early October at First Avenue in Minneapolis. And yes... I will be his DJ. We are going to start working on some beats in the next few days. I'll post some tracks on the forest heights when they are done. We are, of course, anticipating huge success with this project... as rappers tend to do. Perhaps one day we'll have our own 'rap snacks' flavor like Lil' Romeo.

Stay in School bitches!

i'd make a joke, but this is too terrible.

and I think I'd go to hell, which sounds a lot like New Orleans these days.
but this Caribou song should cheer you up....."Yeti"

the T.Rex song

You may be familiar with T.Rex, but the album Zinc Alloy is way over looked by everyone. this is one of my favorite songs from that album.

T.Rex- Interstellar Soul.
there is the song.
is that girl singing back up saying "bullshit!Bullshit!"

A visit with the Doctor (...the real one.)

Hey Kyle,

Time to ask you a medical question. No, no pictures of the weird fucking heatrashes developing in my leg-pits, this is about getting old. And my butt.
In later stages of life, will I lose the ability to control my rectum?
Because there is this 50 year old dude who just went waddling out of the office, running for the bathroom with squeaky-buttfarts squirting out with every hurried step. At first I thought someone was making balloon animals or something, then cought a glimpse of him clenching his hips and struggling to get out the door. It coulda just been bad tacos or something, but I guess it was just really weird, and fucking awesome.

Okay, I guess incontinence is inevitable, but how bout this butt question. Is it true that there are spelunker-like trained miner-elves in our colons that detect when the urge to burst is gaseous matter or solid waste, and open the flood-gates accordingly? I think once Tomasz claimed there were hairs in there that make that crucial choice for you. I think someone should pluck out all those hairs and produce wigs for bald men that would act as some type of helmet. If its a windy day, you're fine, let the breeze blow. If it starts to hail, your new hairs all bunch up and stiffen and protect you from konks on the nogging. wtf am i talking about?

Invisible Beeper

Thanks for posting stuff up KEWL DEWDZ#
This is awe-some so far.
Fatha Dom: "Baby Mama"















"I aint even seen my own dick in 5 days."
(someone play this jam for Matt)

To fund my research and feed myself and Madam Aya as well as prolong my stay on this pimply isle I have been working as a peddler of luxury brands. And in this merchant trade, passing wares between hands of many nations, I see my share of rare and beautiful wonders.
Take this furry blue box as an example. Wrought in the furnaces of Christian Dior it is the size of a coaster and as thick as a ham sandwich. It will eat most anything, especially cash.
Today it will be sold to some stupid bitch for over $100.
This is to say, my job totally rocks. Stay tuned for more exotic pieces.

i'm going out of town, can you feed my cats?

now I know the secrets of japanese pussy.

"Kitty wants some milk"

and my favorite kinks song as of late.


"Waterloo Sunset"


-k

working for someone else is awesome!!!

So I was drinking FREE beer at the best club in MPLS last weekend and my milk shake totally brought all the boys to the bar. It was much more fun than the prior weekend where my milk shake got mixed reviews, and I ended up smoking salvia, going crazy and waking up at 4:00am to piss into my pillow case.

But the past is the past, and it is time to fucking move on... This Saturday is my birthday, and I'd like everyone to meet me nowhere and celebrate nothing in honor of who. But seriously, when Saturday rolls around I hope everyone participating in this blog will poor a little Mad Dog out of their 40 ounce to commemorate the day of my birth. For those of you who live in the greatest country in the world I am asking you to join me at my favorite restaurant for burgers and apple pie.

Take a look at this picture from my birthday last year, oh man... what a ride it has been. You smell me?

Streets of Fire!

The New Pornographers: "Streets of Fire"


Ok I think I have finally caught up to the digital ape. I have figured out how to YouSendIt, and share music through the power of the on line.
this New Pornographers song is off theys new album, and Me and Me's girl can't get it out of ours headz.

Big Easy?

Have you japanites heard the New Orleans news? uh, turns out that city is F-U-C-K-E-D. 80% of it is under water. 20ft deep in some places. My good pal Marleen Stubee just moved down there about a week ago, and then Katrina hit. I had called Marleen on monday, to make sure she was doing alright. She answered, and told me that she had been evacuated from the city, and was hanging out in a hotel somewhere in the Bible-belt. She had plans to go back to the city in a couple of days, but 24 hours later, the levees bust, and the whole city is wiped out. I tried calling Marleen today, but her phone is turned off.
she's probably ok, though it would be nice to know for sure.
Speaking of missing people, has anyone heard from, or seen Josh Lundquist in Japan?

Hot Newsies!!!!

I lie. I have no hot newsies to dance around and jab thumbs at themsleves for you. That is to say I have no breaking stories.
But I wanted to contribute so here's something I just wrote:

Horse heads painted a goddess blue carved up above the pressing crowd tossing hot black rivers of hair and violent rips of colorful ribbons into the midday sky. Trumpets flared fat and buttery and the horses trotted on, bobbing like twigs in a fresh mountain stream seeming to weave around and over each other impossibly.
In their wake a great vehicle with thin spindly wheels rolled up and the marching band standing erect on its top throbbed in staggering breaths as its members filled their lungs and dumped buckets of round sounds on the audience. Children and adults reached out with their voices and gobbled the bubbles of triumphant music in increasing enthusiasm: this lord among wheeled creatures was surely to be the Doctor's latest masterpiece.
As in accompaniment to the band a churning of gears could be made out and four everso thin legs descended from the bottom of the enormous box and raised it higher in the air. The wheels, no longer in need of supporting the monstrous contraption shot off in opposite directions down the street and shot into the air tearing over the rooftops and away in single file.

Late Registration

I think Kanye West was very smart to have named his new album Late Registration, and released it this week of the year, because he knew...
He knew I, and thousands of other college students, would be working out the complicated regulations of late registrations.
Oh well, his album does a good job of soft'n the blow of all that B.S.
"yeah, you know what this is - it's a celebration Bitches! - Grab a drink, Grab a Glass- after that I'll Grab your ass."